To connect with other parents who share the Root & Sprout philosophy, join Root & Sprout's official social networking site, Grow Together.

by Bob Lancer, "The Peaceful Parenting Expert"

It has been customary for parents to rely far too much on time-out than on time-in to help their children develop positive and responsible behavior patterns. A parent uses a time-out when he or she directs the child to remain separate from a group, a person, or a place as a consequence for misbehaving in relation to that group, person, or place.  A parent employs the far more positive and effective strategy of time-in, on the other hand, when he or she spends time more closely involved with the child to keep that child's behavior out of destructive patterns.

Children stray into problematic behavior when they receive an insufficient supply of loving, alert, responsible supervision.  Merely reacting sternly does not adequately help a child to demonstrate more appropriate behavior.  For one thing, any behavior that a child engages in repeatedly becomes a habit.  So by the time you react to the child's behavior, it is somewhat too late, because it already happened.  By remaining close enough to your child, and aware enough of your child, to recognize when his or her behavior begins to stray, you can effectively redirect the child before she engages in a more problematic behavior. 

How can you tell how closely you need to supervise your child?  Only through experimenting.  If four-year-old Johnny begins relating to his little sister in a cruel fashion while you leave the two of them alone to prepare dinner, than you need to have at least one of the children with you, or you need keep them in your sights, and glance over at them as frequently as needed to spot a brewing problem.  Each time that your child's behavior drifts into an inappropriate form, that form of behavior grows more strongly and deeply habitual.  While it may seem like too much trouble to remain closely enough involved with your child to keep it on track, it proves far more difficult to deal with the trouble produced by a child who lacks sufficiently close and consistent oversight and loving involvement.  

Editor’s note: Have your child-behavior and marital questions answered via email by Bob Lancer, The Peaceful Parenting and Family Relationship Expert.. Please direct them to BobLancer@RootandSprout.com.

The Peaceful Parenting Expert Bob Lancer, author of Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress, is the host of the radio show Bob Lancer's Parenting Solutions (airing on WSB Radio and broadcasting to 35 states, on the air since 1996). His parenting seminars air on his own TV show, Bob Lancer's Parenting Answers, broadcasting weekly on the Atlanta Public Schools cable television network and WPBA 30.  His work has been featured in national magazines like Parenting, major newspapers like The New York Daily News, and on CNN, to name a few outlets.  He offers parenting seminars and consultations live and over the phone. For more information see www.parentingfortheplanet.com.

image courtesy Bob Lancer

by Gina Hope

The cobblestone streets were heaving with excitement as the Bretagnes jigged their traditional dances.  The bagpipes blew and the crowds cheered.  We were drunk on the familiar scents of garlic and sage butter and the not-so-familiar scents of seriously aged brie and properly brewed cider.  Crepes were grilling and potatoes were frying.  People dressed in regional costumes lined the streets; white-laced bonnets in all facets of folds and curls adorned the crowns of women, the most relevant distinction to indicate their clan.  And then in the middle of my French bliss, my four-year-old announced desperately that she needed to use the bathroom.  Unable to speak a word of French, I had to get my child to a bathroom and then find the rest of the family amongst the crowd . . . minus a cell phone! 

So what does a mom do when the family has to split up on the go?  She plans ahead and coordinates her family's dress so that she is able to spot them a mile off, just as schools dress children in matching t-shirts during field trips. It's simply for safety.  

This, of course, is no revolutionary idea; after all, my mother used to haul out the old PFAFF machine and hit the fabric stores every time our family planned a trip to Disneyland.  There were nine of us cousins causing all sorts of havoc, and everyone in the park knew who that cheeky child belonged to who snuck out of the "It's a Small World" line to drool over the frozen bananas.  Yes, our clan was clear.   

With far fewer people in my traveling party today, but with many more border crossings, passport stamps, and heaving airports, I do as my mom did for us.  When dressed alike, everywhere we go, people know we are together. People even point me in the direction of my family if I'm off alone. 

Airports are usually my main concern, but I try to coordinate as much as possible during day trips, especially if I know we are going to be in a crowd.  So on that very crowded festival street in France, my daughter and I had no trouble spotting our small tribe in the crowd.  

As I was taking it all in on those cobblestone streets, trying to figure out how on earth the women kept their white lacy hats atop their heads in the Bretagne wind, I realized that this notion of dressing kin alike dates back to when our ancestors used dress to differentiate themselves and to stick together. “Safety in numbers,” as they say. And my out-and-about family plans to stick together just like melted Gruyere on a crepe!  

Gina Lauricella Hope is the blog author of World of Hope and the founder of HOPE fair trade children's clothing, www.GottaLottaHope.com.

image courtesy Gina Hope

by Diane Lang

Here are a few important points to think about when considering your decision to return to work.  

Find the right childcare. The decision to go back to work is a tough one but can be even tougher if you don't have childcare you can trust. Take your time finding the right type of childcare for your child. The best way to find good childcare is through referrals, so ask around and check out the people and places in whose trust you’re placing your child. Consider what it is you want for him. Do you want to enroll him at a preschool where he will have a lot of interaction with other kids? Do you want a live-in nanny at your house so your child can stay home? What about hiring a babysitter to come to your house during working hours?  

Establish a support system. Let your family know of your plans to go back to work and find out how they feel about your decision. It will be a lot easier if you have a supportive family, but don’t discount your own feelings. It's important that you are happy and taking care of your needs so you can take care of the needs of others. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open between you and your spouse, as it will make the transition from stay-at-home mom to working mother smoother for everyone. 

Weigh your options. It's okay to take baby steps and start off slowly by going back to work part-time or filling in as a temp. You might even find that you can work at home as a consultant or do freelance work on the side. Explore what works best for you and your family. 

Don't let fear rule your life. Making the decision to go back to work causes fear in every mom. Although it's part of the changing process, don't let fear paralyze you. Instead, let your fear guide you in making good decisions about what job you choose, the people to whom you turn to for support, and to whom you entrust your children. 

I interviewed over a 100 moms to find their most common fears about going back to work and the most typical fears I heard were: 

Will the kids like the nanny or babysitter better then me?

Will going back to work make me a bad mom?

What will my husband think? Will he be supportive?

Will I be able to balance it all?

What if I don't like being at the workplace?

Will I be too stressed and overwhelmed by all my responsibilities? 

These fears are common among moms, and it’s comforting to know other moms share the same anxieties. Also, not all these fears are realistic. Most fears can be dispelled by a supportive family, job satisfaction, and high self esteem. 

Workin' 9 to 5! What to consider when making this decision. A few tips from author, Diane Lang.