by Marilyn Crain 

November 13, 2008, is World Kindness Day. Parents and teachers around the world should take this opportunity to look at and encourage how kids can show kindness to others. 

Here are some ways to help your children show kindness to: 

Parents, siblings and extended family: Offer to help without being asked. Always remember special days like birthdays and anniversaries with a card or a gift, if possible. Think before you speak, especially if you’re angry or really unhappy.  

The elderly: Visit with them often and be truly interested in how they are doing. Offer to do things that will help, like taking their newspaper to them, or offering your seat, if they are standing. 

Friends: Learn to notice if they are sad, and show them you care. Share your toys or your snacks.  

Teachers and school mates: Pay close attention to what your teacher asks you to do, and don’t talk or do silly things in class. Don’t say mean things or pull hurtful pranks on your classmates. Take care of them and get help if they are in trouble or have an accident. 

Pets: Always be gentle and careful not to hurt them when you play. Be sure they have food, water and a good place to sleep. 

Others locally and around the world: Give to help those in need. Ask your teacher if the class can send notes to a classroom in another country. Learn about children in other countries: where they live, how they play, what they want to do when they grow up. 

The earth and the environment: Don’t litter. If someone else does, it only takes a minute to pick up a bit of trash. *Never pick up anything that looks dangerous.* Learn about the earth, its history, its climate, plants and animals. Find out how you can get involved to help protect it.  

I just read about a person who makes it a habit to “accidently” leave a good book behind in a waiting room or on the bus or train. Isn’t that a great way to anonymously make someone’s day? We can help our children learn to think about and promote ideas that will literally fill the world with kindness and make our communities better places to live. 

Learn more about how to promote kindness at Acts of Kindness.org sponsored by The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.  

Even though this article addresses helping older children, I just have to share this great program for pre-k teachers and caregivers. It’s called Children’s Kindness Network (CKN) and its mission is to build a culture of kindness.

Marilyn Crain is a freelance writer whose blog, The Everyday Scholar, is "dedicated to the pursuit of learning by independent scholars around the world."

image courtesy flaivoloka

by Dr. Caron Goode

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, you may find yourself spending more and more time thinking about the things in your life that you are thankful for. The importance of your health, your family and your friends suddenly seem magnified as the holiday season tends to prompt people to consider if they’ve been taking these precious gems for granted.  

By definition, thankfulness is being aware, appreciative and grateful for all that you have. And in today’s fast-food society, where immediate gratification and a sense of entitlement are consistently being ordered up, our kids can use reminders to cultivate this much desired attitude of gratitude. 

As you begin to think about and express gratitude for your own life blessings this season, you have the awesome opportunity to take advantage of a natural learning moment to continue to cultivate a thankful heart within your child.              

Be a role model. Children are great imitators, so allow your child to see you expressing your thankfulness. During your day, take time to thank people who have provided you with a service, like a teller, clerk or waitress, and let your child hear you give thanks for the things in your life for which you are grateful. Consider incorporating a time of thanksgiving prayer or contemplation into your day, perhaps by saying grace before dinner, or a short family prayer before bed. Consistently modeling gratitude is one coaching tool that you can use to help cultivate a thankful heart within your child.

Coach your child to give thanks. If there are times when it is appropriate for your child to express thankfulness and he doesn’t, gently coach him to give thanks by prompting him with a reminder such as, “Mrs. Smith did something very kind for you. What should you say?” Giving your child the words to express thanksgiving provides him with a vocabulary of thanks.

Teach true gratitude. True gratitude focuses on the gift giver, rather than the gift. It’s counting your blessings and giving thanks to the one who blesses. Encourage your child to consider the thought and love that is behind each gift or kind action. Teach your child to give thanks for the person rather than focusing on the gift or deed alone. Coaching a child to write personal thank you notes for gifts that he’s received is one hands-on way for your child to learn this valuable lesson. 

Take the focus off “things.” Part of having a thankful heart is acknowledging and appreciating what you already have. Instead of rewarding your child with a material object, such as a toy, for a job well done, take time to express your thankfulness by offering purposeful praise. Say, “Thank you for ______,” and then spend time together doing something special. Baking cookies, reading a book or going for a walk together are all wonderful non-materialistic ways to say “Thank you. I acknowledge and appreciate your effort.”  Expressing gratefulness with words and actions is a coaching tool that you can use to shift your child’s focus from pricey rewards to the things already in his possession.

Mix children and chores. From picking up her toys to clearing her plate from the dinner table, chipping in to care for the things she has will instill a sense of responsibility and dignity within your child. A child who is coached to care for what she has will develop a sense of gratefulness and appreciation for the things in her care. 

Tackle a community project. What better way for your child to appreciate the abundance of blessings he has than to see others who have not? Prepare a meal for a shut-in, or collect gently used jackets for children who don’t have coats to keep them warm. Have younger children donate some of their toys to a homeless shelter. Coach your child to acknowledge the things she has and to be grateful for them, rather than focusing on all of her wants. It can be hard for a child to comprehend the difference between her “wants” and her “needs” and even harder for her to understand that that not everyone has what she does.  Providing an opportunity for a child to tangibly give of her abundance to those who are in true need can send a clear and powerful message: “We have a lot to be thankful for.”

While Thanksgiving provides the perfect moment to introduceto or reinforce the concept of thankfulness in your children, continue being conscious of your blessings and expressing your gratefulness for them and their givers throughout the year.  Chances are, if you do, you’ll cultivate hearts full of thanks in all of your family members.

Caron Goode's (EdD) insights are drawn from her 15 years in private psychotherapy practice and 30 years experience in the fields of education, personal empowerment, and health and wellness. She is the author of 10 books (www.inspiredparenting.net) and the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents, a training program for parents and professionals who wish to mentor other parents, www.acpi.biz. You can read Caron at carongoode@mac.com.

by Leanne Palmerston

"We're going to vote, today, OK?" I half-announced, half-asked my five-year-old son.  

He looked up from his toy cars with bright eyes and an inquiring look. "Mom? What's voting?" he asked.  

I did my best to explain the basic idea of why we have elected representatives on the way over to my local polling station.  

I was pushing our stroller with the toddler sitting inside and my older son on the ride-along step. His head came up to just under my chin as we talked. As I struggled to explain the essential concept of government, I smiled as I listened to my son respond with a sudden, "ah!" or "oh, I understand!"  

"So, they give us a list and we have to pick people on the list?" he asked. 

"Yes!" I said excitedly. "That's exactly what we will be doing." 

"And who will we pick?" 

"You see that orange and green sign over there?" I asked, pointing to the re-election sign staked in a neighbor's front yard. "Do you see the man on that sign, the one with the glasses? That's the man we will be voting for." 

I had been voting for the same candidate for 20 years. He was the first candidate I had ever voted for in the first election I was eligible to vote in. I was excited to take my part in the electoral process and had sat down with my grandparents (my parents never spoke about politics) to admit I wasn't sure for whom I should vote.  

My grandfather fixed me with a stern stare and said, "There is only one candidate I'd vote for." He went on to tell me how this fellow supported unions and the workingman.  

I turned to my grandmother, a woman I trusted implicitly in all aspects of life. "Who are you voting for?" 

"Oh!  The same man, of course!" she answered matter-of-factly. 

The discussion continued, and I left my grandparent's house quite convinced.  

A few days later, standing behind the cardboard voting booth with my pencil in one hand and ballot in the other, I put my "X" carefully beside the appropriate candidate. I was very excited, full of pride and self-satisfaction; I had just made my tiny voice heard. It was a small but profound act.  

Twenty years later, I maneuvered my stroller, laden with two kids, into the polling station. A number of men and women of varying ages, all eager to help, peopled it. "We are voting for the guy with the orange and green sign!" my son practically shouted to the woman holding the door for us. "Hey!" I hissed, partly laughing at his obvious enthusiasm, "you aren't supposed to tell other people who you are voting for! It's supposed to be private, silly!" 

I parked the stroller off to the side, held my older son's hand and presented my voting card and I.D. My papers were returned to me, with a ballot.  

Walking behind the appropriate booth, I explained to Kieran in a quiet voice, "Now, we just put an "X" beside the person we are voting for. And that's pretty much it." My son wasn't terribly impressed. All that buildup just to put a little "X" on a piece of paper!  

But, the best part was coming up. As we approached the front table, I picked my son up and walked up to the ballot box. We let the lady rip off the side tab from the ballot and fold it for us. When she handed it back, I gave it to my son. "Here is your chance. Put the ballot into the box." 

His little hand reached out and slipped the paper through the slit in the top of the box.  

"Congratulations," I said happily. "You have just voted in your first election." 

My son let out a little whoop of glee and ran over to his brother to share the good feeling.  The next morning, when he saw on the morning news that our candidate won his seat, my son ran around the house celebrating. 

I thought to myself, the next time the country, the province or the city goes to the polls, my son will go with me. And, when he grows up, I want him to look back on each and every election throughout his childhood and have happy memories of dropping his mother's ballot into the box, knowing our little voices were being heard.

Leanne is a wife, mother, doula, educator, writer and radio personality. She can be found online at www.theclevermom.com  and www.hamiltondoula.com  talking about her two passions: doing creative stuff with her kids and women in the childbearing years. 

image courtesy Leanne Palmerston